Sunday, 18 April 2010

Small duck....New Pond



I have completed my migration. I’ve flapped my little wings and flown the nest.


It’s taken me and my partner over half a year to save for it, but finally all that patience has paid off...and you all know how crap I am with that. It wasn’t easy...not one bit. At every turn there seemed to be some kind of bollard....or wall....or blockade that just didn’t want to let us through.


First it was financial matters outside of the housing situation creating little drainage points in our funds, then it was certain people not exactly being very helpful with plans...no need to name, no point...then it was banks.....shiny, smiley Abbey....oh sorry I mean, SANTANDER. Failing to give people certain information, information that could have been very very disastrous in the case of our to-be move. They wouldn’t let us get at our money...how does that make sense? You put away all this dosh, and I’m talking a big amount, and they decide, even when you’ve asked them several times, that when big transfers concerning big amounts of money a being done what things need to be done to ensure smooth running of the process....yeh yeh, everything is fine, just like when your walking up the stairs half asleep and your just about to reach what you think is the top step, and your heart leaps into your throat as it realises you’ve already got there and you really believe you are tumbling down hard. That’s how you made us feel Santander!


We could have lost that flat because of you, thank god for your sake we didn't....


Chris and I both had heated discussions about leaving the money grabbing hoard previously known as Abbey, but ...we came to the conclusion that we couldn’t be bothered. It may sound funny, and stupid, but that, in the end is how you feel. I mean, just think, you’ve been with the one bank since you were six, (well I have J now that’s customer loyalty....where’s my bonus Abbey!) you’ve set up savings accounts, graduate accounts, visa cards, direct debits and standing orders, and then....you’ve got to go through all the paperwork of closing all that down and setting it up with another bank...all over again. Every bill, every payment, transfer.....its takes too much time and effort, and they know that, they bait ya, and reel ya in like a little kipper.



All that seems to have calmed down now, as much as I still don’t trust banks, ever since my auntie explained that banks don’t keep your own personal stash in a little computerised cubby-hole marked especially for you, just like in Harry Potter at Gringotts Bank....(If you don’t know what I mean...ffs people....Google it quickly and get back here pronto), they actually use it in their own little borrowing scheme....I don’t trust anything with my dollar...not even me...always seems t find a way of burning its way through my tanned mitts one way or another.




So Santander....I’ll allow you to keep a eye on it for now...but your treading a fine line buddy.



Moving in to the flat itself was the most exciting ad stressful experience ever. You want everything to go perfect, but you know damn well it won’t, but you account for things like that, but it all moulds in with your expectations. The cascade of box mountains, with all...well as much of your worldly possessions as you can fit into your friends van, with sarcasm that truly makes me feel all womanly , “God! How much crap have you got, Woman!?”



I’ve never been the type for shopping for all the shoes and bags and stuff (although whilst packing, i did manage to find rather a lot yey me!), but that stereotype that women don’t pack lightly...i really did succumb to that well and truly. I would like to say in my defence that I had been saving most of that stuff for over two years for preparation for moving out, and without it we’d have no bookcases, tv, dining table or bed frame so...it must have been some kind of useful ”Crap” eh J



Its only been a week and we haven’t really been able to settle properly yet, as Alton is still very new and unexplored for us. I’ve had a transfer to a different Sainsbury’s in Liphook, near the area we’ve moved to, and Chris has to commute to Farnham to his work, and things have started out quite rocky.


Situations pop up their little heads when you really just want a nice relaxing time, don’t they? Typical.


The hours we both work, don’t exactly match, and we don’t exactly skip to work with sunshine in our step every morning, but I keep saying A job is better than NO JOB....that’s right isn’t it?

It’s only been a week and we already have contemplated leaving your jobs for something new...however that decision is always forgotten by the time we close our eyes for bed, and is re-decided on awakening, at the realisation of not being able to spend the day with one another.



There’s so much yet to do, and sort out and...still being sofa-less is a bit of an annoyance....the evening we can curl up together with soft cushions to support our posteriors, we will finally start feel comfortable.



But still being a a “Duck” I miss my flock...I don’t like flying solo. So to my fellow birds, I pine for you very much. To the ones I’ve known since ducklings, and to those I worked with....you aren’t forgotten. I haven’t disappeared. As I keep telling you, you can’t get rid of me.



I’d like to send a special shout to Val, Sharon, Carol and Cherle for putting up with me at work and keeping me sane (I will be back to munch and boogie with you soon!), to Kieran, for always being there for me (a catch up chat must be arranged!), and especially Chris for loving me(You are my rock baby! Without you, this would never have happened).

Sunday, 14 February 2010

A lot of thought, bother...and forgetfulness




"Did you ever stop to think, then forget to start again?"


"Winnie The Pooh"

Has that ever happened to you? You know, your quite happily going along with your business with your normal mediocre thoughts then...all of a sudden something............

Its strange, and often happens when it shouldnt. Like for instance, I should be thinking about big things i need to sort, savings for mine and chris's flat, all the paperwork, a new job...the meaning of life. And I should feel ashamed of it, but good peeople of Earth, I AM NOT! I'm glad to be a daydreamer, to wander off along the path of what ifs and furry creatures and....whatnot. We all know that this grey world of ours needs a little colour, and sometimes that can only be made brighter with a little fantasy.

There are so many things I want to have and do with my life, and as young and bushytailed I am, I'm in a rush to get them.

Lack of patience you may say... a want to live I call it.

Sometimes, I have to do the one thing I hate....waiting to see what happens.

I am, for some reason, one of these people who likes to plan. I plan for things that may be, things that have happened and must be changed, things no one can really plan for, but this idea that something unforsaken and ruining may turn up, so, yes, I plan for those too...I think I mainly plan for the beggining and the outcome, Like I've always been taught to do with my essays and my creative work at uni, "If you know where you want to start, and you know where you end up, the journey between will work itself out"...maybe thats true of life, I know all too well with essays its way more complicated!

But I have heard that even the most careful planner cant plan for everything. It never turns out the way you plan. It nearly always turns out better.

But I understand that even Bill Gates didnt wake up one day with Windows in front of him...time effort....patience (its that word again....shivver!), he probaly got to a point where he was thinking, "what the fuck do I do now?!"

But...this one thing...I want...so truely...so deeply...that it almost has to happen, as I wont let it go either way. Remembering to look at the important things can never be wrong though...but looking too much...as I have been a slave to...no matter how much you want something, can kill it.

Over feeding a plant wont make it stronger will it? hmmm?

Sunday, 17 January 2010

When the wind is strong and the rain is pouring...ducks fly together

Its quite amazing how much easier things are when you have a good team behind you.


Not just in the work sense, but just a person, a loved one, a friend....someone who makes life that little bit easier.

My partner has always been mine. Whenever a big problem comes along (well always seems gigantic in my head, but is reduced with his logic with such ease that i almost feel silly for feeling so bad in the first place....dont you just love em' when that happens!)

In life, as we all know, we have helta-skelta downs...and towering heights to our lives that sometimes seem impossible, but if you have fellow passanger, or and open ear to howl into...what a breeze things seem afterwards.

I found this clip from "The Mighty Ducks 2" quite enspiring...(taken slightly out of context in terms of the film ofcourse!" which can apply to life very nicely.



Its true though isnt it? When things get hard, theres always those who will stick by you and give you a hand. No matter the situation. No matter what the differences are.

And my my my us humans have problems....we're always moaning about something...DONT SAY YOU HAVENT!...even I have, atleast 10 times a day!

Something that you had an expectation of that fell through slightly...doesnt mean its a complete disaster. It means something bigger and better will come along and shadow this downfall. But to your poor self...it can be a very depressing thought.

I myself have gone through some ups and downs concerning my future, as open and unlimited it is, when you set your mind on something, you do need that encouragement from that lil someone, even a stranger...(never be underestimate the kindness and helpfulness of strangers) sets you on the right path.

So if the beginning of this year doesnt look as shiny and bold as you felt..that doesnt mean it isnt gonna be. And if you know someone who needs a fellow comrade to boost their spirit...do the honours.

Even at its darkest part of the year...when things are cold and hopeless...ducks fly together.



Thursday, 14 January 2010

Spring Cleaning the New Year

There are some things that just shouldn't still exist in the new year...old negative memories, old clothes you'll never wear that you keep when you plan to lose 3 stone, the recession...
...lets not get on to that.
We all know where that one will take us, but at the moment, look forward. If you look through the passenger side window, or the rear view mirror, when your driving too worried about whats already there, you wont see the opportunities that are coming up!

Change, sure not all good, but they do get us somewhere.
Like this snowy weather for instance...
Look, its mee! I discovered that place on a long walk with my boyfriend, which he discovered only because the conditions prohibited him from going to work. It was a gorgeous way to spend the day, out and about, not watching telly, or rotting our brains...adventure...small, but a might discovery at that.

Many have been stuck not getting in to work, or to go shopping and all the normal things.
But don't say that on that first night/day the snow fell hard in your area, you didn't have that child like feeling of wanting to play in it, or at least stand out in it and adore the difference in your mundane gray routine....am I right?
Yes, we're all a bit sick of it now, and it has had some horrible effects for some people, but this kind of change...was good! A small change, but didn't it beat the same old, same old?
So, as much as I hate change....we all need to do some spring cleaning for this new year.
Decide what we want, what we don't want and start to sort it out.
I know I want to move out. I know I want to be with my boyfriend.. Main thing sorted.
Once you start that initial logical sort...your 50% closer.

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Building the nest

*sigh* well here goes, we've gotta start somewhere and here it is!